Experiencing The Sheer Joy Of Being Alive
Being aware of being aware is an instantaneous experience that occurs in the absence of objects and time. It is a constant natural experience we all have and can verify if we take a moment to consider it. The experience is always pristine, we find. Never tainted by anything. It is not a neutral experience either. It is like the constant sun shining within. As a famous teacher once said, it is "as we are winter that never fails to turn into spring" (Nichiren Daishonin 13th Century) - An infinite potential that never fails to shine. The awareness is our natural home. What some call no-self or other the true self, for upon examination, we realise there are not two awarenesses - our own and the awareness we are aware of; it is one and the same awareness. No limited experience, such as a thought, can know anything about awareness, though it may point to the experience. Only awareness can know itself. Belief, however, attempts to superimpose limitations on the experience of awareness. These beliefs limit awareness to being a body and mind experience in time and space, which we discover immediately triggers fear and a sense of lack. However, just because that which is perceived is localised does not mean that which is perceiving is localised. So through investigating our belief in the limitation of awareness, we conclude we cannot know it is limited, which is enough to release us from the suffering this belief causes.
For example, if we were to have a dream when something terrible happens and we wake up, we first experience happiness resulting from the thought that it was a dream. But we overlook the closer truth, that the thought that this was just a dream and what happened wasn't real is an afterthought of the experience of happiness. This experience of joy does not derive from the thought but from the experience of being aware that tells us we are alive.
When we go to the experience of awareness, there is always a joyful element to it because we enjoy being alive, which we recognise through awareness. The enjoyment from being aware is nothing like enjoying a nice meal, a pay increase, or a new house or car. It is not the enjoyment of something or someone. It is us directly enjoying ourselves and our aliveness. This recognition is to be at one with ourselves.
To be aware of being consciously alive is the purest of all joys that does not depend on having a body. As we think and reflect on this experience and become convinced that this is the highest form of happiness, we have discovered within ourselves the source of our joy. Although we still enjoy our objective experiences, we become much less dependent on these experiences for our happiness. The central point is that the cloud that blocks this experience of joy is the superimposing by our minds of limitation onto it, which is why we must investigate this limitation repeatedly until we are convinced it is false. We have to watch the tendency of our mind to believe it is the centre ground of our existence and be forced into living our life through its dualistic categorisation of what is good and evil. This belief personalises our life experience and tells the story that things make us happy and that we must get something to be satisfied.
Ancient teachings have called "enlightenment" the experience of self-awareness, knowing itself free of this belief of limitation for which we have no evidence superimposed. As we open to this experience, any division in our minds between ourselves and the outside world disappears. What was a hostile universe is replaced with our best friend. Like a beautiful warm coat, we put on in the morning to protect ourselves, the Universe shines our love for it back to us. It protects us with endless serendipity in the same way the trillions of cells in our body allow us to walk around planet Earth without needing to control them on our part. As we understand this experience of aliveness, we understand that if we lose a tooth, arm, or leg, we do not lose ourselves. Realising this experience is the most direct way to lose the fear of death our body naturally is programmed with.
What we discover is what we are terrified of is not losing the body, but more profoundly, we are afraid of not being aware, which we see as the source of our aliveness. Why would we have such a thought that awareness will stop? Because we are limiting it being our body and mind, it is subject to the natural, instinctual fears those things feel that help protect themselves. How do we know that when the body dies, awareness does not die with it? How do I know that awareness began or will end?
These are essential questions for us to verify our experience. If we envision the disappearance of awareness, who is there to experience its death? If there is something there to experience death, it must mean that death didn't happen. There is no evidence that awareness can die. We can use our intelligence to confront our fears which are bread from irrational beliefs.
So when the curiosity for the understanding of life arises within us, we mustn't look the other way, for this is our self-calling to itself, and every time we listen to that call, we feel alive, whole, joyful and free. This call is the call for freedom and universal love. It is the most beautiful sacred call we will ever hear. We never need to force this experience or discipline ourselves to achieve it. The natural fruits of this experience appear when we allow our innate desire for truth to emerge.
