The Undefinable Sense Of I

There is a sense of I.

There is a world out there.

There is a body and a mind.

We get into trouble when we confuse the world, body, or mind for ourselves.

We ascribe the sense of I to the wrong thing. 

But of all the things we ascribe as reality, it is the sensation in the body we do this to mainly.

And of all the sensations in the body, it is those in the torso, too.

Perhaps even more than that, those in a particular area of the torse.

These contractions of energy, more than any other, we confuse for the self.

We then must look at what sense of self we discuss and how we ascribe it to bodily sensations.

First, it is an undefinable quality of being, not an emotion or feeling.

When we sense this undefinable quality of being, we think this is me – this is the “self” I am.

It is not a feeling, but we confuse it with one.

It’s because it is perhaps because we have become drunk on feelings in the body and forgotten that there are things more subtle than these.

We discern this undefinable quality of being as we become aware of our own awareness.

When we do so, we sense this undefinable quality of being instantly.

For really, it is this awareness that was always the home of the self

So becoming conscious of this awareness is being conscious of ourselves.

Then instantly, we experience something.  It is not a feeling but feels like one.  It is not a perception but appears like one.  It is something we cannot define.

It is not nothing.

Then we can discern the qualitative difference between this and a bodily sensation.

This discernment opens the door to see we are not a sensation.

We have stopped getting drunk on bodily sensations, and our palette has become more refined to be able to discern this other quality.

But this indefinable quality of being becomes stronger as we rationally entertain the possibility that it is not linked to the body or mind but is a force beyond that.

Why would this make it stronger?

Clearly, to think this experience that we see as us is potentially Universal moves us to a whole new level of self-concept.

How do we open to this possibility?

By acknowledging we do not know, it is originating in either our mind or body.

As we acknowledge this truth, our mind gives up trying to own the experience of this undefinable quality of being.

We cease to be a mind trying to attain a state of being

We become a state of being directly, and the mind, in fact, goes quiet.

So here we can see that we are this undefinable quality of being that is not this bodily sensation.

Gaining this perspective immediately releases us from thinking we are this sensation.

As sensation is not the self, we now realise we are.   It is qualitatively different.  This becomes clearer to us. 

It is a revelation to realise this.

The sensation is a visceral heavy thing fluctuating and moving sometimes.

It’s alarming to think of this as us.

It is confusing to think of this as us.

But we do.

Because the real quality of us gets confused with this visceral sensation.

So no wonder we descend into fear and confusion.

For we have mistaken this sensation as being us.

But, now having recognised this other experience, we can say is an undefinable quality of being.

That is not a sensation but is nevertheless sensed by the body even though it has no substance; it is nevertheless real.

Though is faint at first, it becomes stronger as we focus on it. 

We see it was always there but overlook it because the visceral feeling seems more real.  We assumed it was real.

We didn’t even question that we were giving this sensation a sense of reality that didn’t exist, and we had the choice to see that this undefinable quality of being was reality.

We have to acknowledge this if we can.  It is not a belief or an idea but an actual experience that we are acknowledging without knowing where it comes from.

It seems like a feeling, but it is not.

It is not definable, but it is real.

If we name it, it is only because we need some convention to describe it to others, but others will disagree with our name, so we have a problem.

We could commonly call it Universal Love. But that will not satisfy some.

We could call it Buddha Nature. But that will not satisfy some.

We could call it Christ Consciousness. But that will not satisfy some.

We could call it the Divine Spark. But that will not satisfy some.

What those that experience can hopefully all agree – it is real – it is undefinable – it is not known to be generated by the mind and body, and it is the home of the self and distinct from a bodily feeling. 

Recognising this experience as the unlimited container of all things is the final liberation.

Can we do this?

Why not?

Do we know it is not the container of all things?

We do not.

So why not think of it as that?  Then instantly, we are complete, and instead of a world out there, we can see that all the world exists inside us.

But surely this is not the totality?  Still, our mind argues the case a little.

Religions and culture have separated the essence from the self and made us believe we can only tap into it somehow but not be it.

But on what basis are they saying this?

This is just a belief they are propagating, creating the impression of being a small being tapping into a big being.

We cannot know that this undefinable experience of being is not the totality.

So let us accept that it is – then we have instantly attained what we are looking for.

Let us trust this experience and surrender to it if it really is the totality.

If true, let us see how this realisation affects our body and mind.

Of course, if we can allow ourselves the possibility of recognising this undefinable experience of being is the totality, then we instantly must know we are complete.

Why not?

Do we need anything or anyone else to tell us otherwise?

Do we need to do anything?

No.

Can we allow ourselves the experience this completion?  Being totally present with the undefinable quality of self that we do not know is universal.

Can we sit in this experience that we choose to accept (because we don’t know it’s not) is not coming from the mind or body but is Universal?

Can we trust this experience of self rather than the experience of a bodily sensation as being ourselves?

What happens when we allow ourselves this experience?

There is no fear any more.

We see the world as our friend.

It is instant.

We take action based on this peace of mind instead of seeking happiness.

We see if this action is reflected.

Maybe we pray, go for a walk, or talk to a friend.

But we do so consciously, recognising that we are this undefinable quality of being that is the self and full of peace and love.

Then we are the truth that we seek.

Then we can see what happens.

Can it be this simple?

Yes

Why not?

Best not believe anyone who makes it more complicated!

Do I need to do anything more once I have this experience?

Enjoy living.  That is the main duty.

But why do I continue to think of myself as a small feeling sometimes, even after realising all this?

Because strangely enough, you want to forget yourself and remind yourself of how it feels to be a bodily sensation – not good!